Okay, here’s what you need to know. I’m a Slytherin , 7th year and hold the position of Chaser in our Quidditch team. And… ha, I’m actually not going tell you anything else.
He listened to Seb’s cautious words, soft in his ears, familiar. His smile grew softer than gleeful, and he didn’t quite know why. If at first Lysander thought the situation wouldn’t get awkward at all, he knew now that it wouldn’t be the case. He licked his lips, opening his mouth to speak, but closing it as Seb continued on his casual talking. Lys turned his head to look at the boy, saw the nervousness in his eyes and he began to chew the inside of his bottom lip. “Why would I not answer to your owls, Seb?” The words were light on his tongue, the same tongue that jested against Seb’s one some days ago. Lysander began to laugh at Seb’s next comment. “You are always flirting, it’s okay. I’m used to it now.” He smiled at Seb when the young boy turned his head towards him, feeling a light blush coming on his cheeks.
A silence fell between them for some time, awkward and heavy. Then Sebastian spoke up again, more harshly and angrily than before. It made Lysander jumped and automatically turn towards the other guy. “Wait, what?” He was confused, Seb was right about that. He didn’t understand the other’s reaction; wasn’t it simple that Lysander would just know that the kiss would probably dig a enormous hole in their friendship if they didn’t talk about this.
What if he was actually thinking that you wanted to kiss him again? You know, a “talk”. At the thought Lysander’s face became even reddier, and he blinked twice before sitting straight. His body turned a little towards Seb, wanting to face him to talk about this. “Seb, I wanted to meet because I like us. I thought you wouldn’t want to speak with me again after … What happened and just … I thought that we could clarify things?” He chewed his bottom lips again, an horrible feeling creeping in his back that his words weren’t right. “I’m not a liar, Seb, I won’t tell you that I didn’t like it, nor that I’ve never thought of kissing you before because well okay now you know that I think about kissing other guys it’s just not something I usually openly say because I’m kind of afraid of what other might say because you know I tend to get extremly nervous when I speak of those things and …” He forced a breath upon himself, knowing that the last words he blurted out were probably incomprehensible. Damn!
Talking about kissing other guys and having Seb in front of him wasn’t the best combo. And then he thought he would be able to control his mind and his emotions. He turned his eyes to the lake, now fully ashamed of what he just said. “I just didn’t want you to stop talking to me because we kissed.” His hands were playing nervously with grass, his eyes attempting not to look at Seb. Merlin, the guy would probably think of him stupid now. “I thought … it was the best thing to do. I’m sorry if it disturbed you more than anything.” His voice was low, his self-esteem probably lower. What was it with him these days? He was feeling like the lowest piece of shit, his usually light mind not able to lift him up enough to help ignore the dark feelings creeping in the back of his mind.
The things with Evangeline weren’t helping, because they were as unclear as the ones with Seb’s. His heart was a mess, but he would hide it, as always. He sighed deeply, putting a little smile on his mouth, just in case Seb would see through the cracks of his mask.
Sebastian listened carefully to what the blond boy had to say, nodding here and there, pretending he accepts everything. Problem was that Sebastian did understand what Lysander wanted to do. “Yes, we were good friends,” he agreed. “Sure, clarification sounds good,” he agreed looking at his feet as his heart sped up to what Lysander was about to say. He looked over at the Hufflepuff as he started to blurt it all out in one nervous go. “Lys, but it’s okay. I get it, really. The thing about the kiss… I guess I was thinking about it a bit too much and that made me pick up some wrong signals that clearly were just in my head,” Sebastian added a small smile at the end, hoping this would help the other boy relax a bit. The last thing he wanted was to make him uncomfortable.
“I won’t,” he agreed feeling his heart protest at that. Fuck this, just kiss him again! You’re been starring at his lips the whole time anyway! And you can still taste him inside your mouth! Sebastian blocked the awful thoughts, managing to keep the soft and tender expression on his face, so that Lysander wouldn’t get worried. “No I…,” he gulped. “Like I said. It must have been all in my head. Maybe it’s because of my non-stop flirting. I guess I should really stop with it, huh?” a fast chuckle escaped his mouth.
They sat there for a while, silence taking over as both of them watched over at the lake. “I’m sorry about what I did. And the owl I sent you, making you worry about unnecessary things,” he said finally. “If you still want us to be friends, than that’s more than enough for me,” he said and felt the cracks in his heart go deeper at the lie. But it didn’t matter if it hurt. As long as Lysander was happy that was all that mattered right now. “If you ever need someone to count on, for whatever reason – I’ll be there,” Sebastian promised him, hoping that made a difference somehow. “And um… I’m sorry about asking, but I have to know, because it scared the shit out of me.”His hand went through his hair and Sebastian turned his eyes back to Lysnader. “After the kiss… What happened? You… you looked genuinely scared and then you closed up before I could say anything at all. I’d really love it if you decided to talk to me about it, Lys.” He was hoping to open him up and see what make the most sweetest boy in the world crumble like that and pick himself up the next moment, acting like it was all okay. Because it clearly wasn’t.
Things were still weird with Evangeline. They kissed, but they never really talked about going back together and be a couple again. Lysander thought it was a good idea to just think on their own a while, and let it flow. At least there was no more burden of guiltiness and anger staying on his shoulders. Just his thoughts. Well, that wasn’t better but that was something. He looked at the pile of owls staying on his night table, waiting for him, speaking an estranged language. Sentiments, probably. He licked his lips, waiting for Seb’s answer to his last owl.
A talk. Yeah, it should be good, no? His mother always told him that the best way to go through life was with communication (of course when you’re not dealing with a Dark Mage trying to rule the world, she would add jokily). Seb’s reply was positive and Lysander sighed. He couldn’t handle the awkwardness in his life anymore, he had to get out if it. Before the kiss, Seb was helping a lot with it. Not giving a shit about anything and stuff, it helped Lysander to focus on other things and just to not be awkward.
But the kiss happened, without him able to control his body response to it. Lysander felt the tips of his ears reddening and he washed away the images and the sensations. Maybe they would talk about the kiss, but Lys would made sure to close his mouth and heart to any discussion about his reaction after the kiss. His breakdowns never really brought pride to him, and he preferred to let them go away from him, let them dive away to the shore. He would stay in his ocean, he was alright like this.
He put a vest on, not bothering to wear his robe and his uniform. He put a tee, some pants and went out of his dorm, smiling casually to some other Puffs. He headed to the lake, hands in pocket, head in clouds. He wondered about how many tones of green he could find if he looked at every strands of grass he was marching on. That wasn’t very interesting but the thought busied his head until he was sitting next to Sebastian.
“Good evening!” He said lightly, with a smile. There was no reason to be awkward now. They would talk openly and freely.
Sebastian turned to the voice of Lysander and watched as the boy sat next to him. Just like that. No awkward circling around him first, like he actually expected to be honest. “Hey, Lys,” he wasn’t sure if this was a good or a bed sign. He watched the blonde boy’s face for a little while, trying to command his heart to calm the hell down. The traitors bastard wasn’t listening, it just kept going ba-dump ba-dump even faster. It took him some effort but he finally looked away and started to watch the lake. “Cool night I suppose,” he started getting the formal weather talk out of the way fast. It was hard to focus on anything and keep a clear head when Lysander was sitting so close, Sebastian could feel his body heat. He closed his eyes for a second, trying for the second time to calm his heart.
“I’m…” he began not sure what he wanted to say. Sebastian just didn’t want to keep this heavy silence going on any longer. “I loved the owls you sent me. Thank you for replying to all of them,” he offered a small smile, thing of the little pile of papers he kept between the pages of some books he owned. “And sorry if I sounded weird in some of them, I can’t keep the flirting off,” he added a little laughed at that, but it came out sounding awkward. Fuck! He ran his fingers through his hair, in a nervous manner, before turning to look at Lysander again.
Once Sebastian caught his eyes he didn’t want to do anything but kiss the guy again. “Oh for fuck’s sake, this is absurd!” he growled and realized he had just said that one out loud. “Help me out here, Ly, okay? Please? Why did you want to meet?” he asked flat out, pressure too much for him to handle at this point. “I know I started this by talking about the kiss again and it probably confused you, but I was actually expecting for you to just… not reply to that. Not saying you want to meet me,” he blurted it all out, not sure if his thoughts were connected or made sense.
// Dear Maz, but Seb is going to love Lysander forever. Char and Nika never stood a chance =[
//I know… but it was Char’s first ship, so I still ship it… 5ever.
// I understand. I will always ship Sebinique. Seb felling for Lys broke my heart =[
LOL YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME XD